Lately I have been absolutely plagued by pop songs stuck in my head. Some times it’s worse than others. Right now I have this abysmal song chanting up there like some kind of mantra. “Watch it spin arround till a beautiful oblivion…”
I just took a shower. Today was particularly satisfying. I’m not saying why. I want to tell laura why, but she’s not awake. I got an email today, and one of life’s particularly elusive fantasies has a chance of actually coming true. That’s all I’m going to say. You can email me if you want more details.
For some reason, in the shower, the title of one of those dumb bedside philosophy books just popped into my head. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff. Well, duh. But I was thinking about the times lately that laura has been angry with me for not telling her something I consider really small stuff. She just wants to know everything, and I don’t blame her. It occurs to me that as much as it’s all small stuff, it’s all big stuff too–and while I’m busy “not sweating it”, someone else may be busy drowning in the stuff. That’s why the title of the book, (and the whole philosophy) is fucking bogus. My small stuff may be helping little children die in South Africa.
On the other hand, it’s particularly satisfying to feel removed from things. To step back from reality and pretend it’s pretty much all unimportant in the long run. It’s not, but maybe–just for awhile–it’s ok if it is.