It has now been over two weeks since Laura and I broke up. On one hand, that seems like not all that long a time has passed, but mentally, it feels as though it has been years. I am able to write her an email now without feeling a giant pit of horror in my stomach, and that’s (obviously) a big step. We are supposed to meet next tuesday and discuss the CD situation… (She separated them, and I can think of at least six CDs I owned that she does not that are missing from my collection. There are supposedly duplicate CDs in piles on my floor that I have yet to put away.)
I want to thank everyone for being so supportive. I have really felt everyone “being there” for me, and there are probably twice as many people who have offered to lend an ear as there are people I’ve made suffer through my depressing chatter, so even if I haven’t ranted at you, please know that I appreciate you anyway. Most of the times I’ve really “let it all out” have been circumstantial anyway, and there are at least a couple of times I’ve talked about things with people I wouldn’t have otherwise brought into my confidence necessarily. (Don’t worry, I’m sure that’s not you!)
Ren Fest has been extremely therapeutic. I have been rather promiscuous in the last couple of weeks, and perhaps obviously that would not be possible without fest as a backdrop. I’m actually going to try and tone that down a bit now. I realize there are other people’s emotions involved, and with that realization comes a certain amount of guilt. I also know on some level that I am nowhere near ready for another relationship, and yet I also feel very close to falling into something relatively serious. (Just the fact that I am even considering such a thing seems an indication of my relative mental recovery.)
So yeah, my point was to say thanks… and now I’m just rambling.
This is silly, but it is talk like a pirate day today. I looked for other pirate poems, and they were mostly crap. (So I decided it was ok to add to the drivel.)
There’s plenty more pirate innuendo where this came from. Some notable lines left unused include: “How’d you like to hang from me mainstay?” “You want to walk me plank?” and “I ain’t afraid ter get me sheets soaked in a storm.”
Treasure Map Tango
I was shiverin’ me timbers when I saw yer open spaces,
yer sandy shores curved in all the right places.
I cried out ARRRR!
In that moment I wished ter be a landlubber.
You was a prize fit for a pirate king;
an ye made me parrot sing.
I took an oar to yer beaches and buried me sword in ter da hilt,
stealing yer treasure without any guilt.
That’s how I found yer booty
‘neath yer spot marked X.
Next monday is talk like a pirate day. The Monday after that Four Tet is doing a show, and the Monday after that the Mates of State are playing. (Both shows are at the Triple Rock.)
If anyone would like to acompany me to either show, please let me know. At this point I’m planning on going all by my lonesome.
What else has happened in my absense of titillating blog updates? Well, the biggest thing for those of you who have not already heard (and if you have not, please forgive me, I have not exactly wanted to talk about this), is that Laura and I broke up last Monday. It has now officially been a week, although I suppose technically it happened much later in the day.
She had been home for a little over a week at that point from her month in switzerland, and claims she just didn’t miss me as much as she’d expected to while she was away. She did not treat “us” with much enthusiasm or respect in that week, and I knew pretty early that something was up. There were some unfortunate events which led up to the breakup itself that I have not decided whether or not to relay here. Let it suffice to say that she is obviously not having any problems “moving on”, and clearly didn’t find our four-year relationship (coupled with my birthday, for that matter) nearly as important as someone she’d only just met upon her return. Maybe someday I’ll attempt to write a bit about how I feel our open relationship failed in that last week, but I’d rather just call it a lack of communication… something common in most floundering relationships, I’m sure. (Especially when one party is no doubt trying to decide whether they want it to be over.)
So anyway, lets hope the coming Mondays are better than last week’s. And do let me know if you can make either of those shows.