If you check this site,

If you check this site, and all the images are gone, you can blame my ISP, whose services have gone steadily downhill since the split.

Yesterday I had this completely

Yesterday I had this completely impromptu blog-writer-get-together. Of course, I didn’t even think of it that way until we started talking about blogs… I was just getting together to hang out with meghan, and she had apparently talked with mopsa earlier in the day about going to this (turned out to be fairly awful) variety show at the BLB. (Incidentally, I happen to know the person who designed and built the current BLB website, and wouldn’t it be funny if mopsa and/or any other readers also knew that person!)

Anyway, we skipped out on the show after the second bad poet, and ended up (after briefly loosing each other) at pizza luce. (whose site I won’t link, because it sucks ass). The topic of blogs only came up briefly, and mostly in the middle of one of mopsa’s many anecdotes, but when it did, it felt rather odd to be actually talking about something that had, until that moment, been purely electronic. Behind the screens, so to speak.

I have talked a bit with Laura about my blog, but other than that, any times I’ve mentioned it I’m usually giving someone the URL. I have been, once or twice, surprised by someone mentioning something they read on the blog, but otherwise, blogging and reality have scarcely met at all. Blog, meet reality. Reality, meet blog.

I’ve had this experience before–in reverse–when I first got into webpages and stuff, I met this girl who lived in Iowa. We met at a con. She and I ended up having a (mostly) electronic relationship, but have met (with mixed results) in reality a few times since. Every time it’s that same weird disconnect. We’re not the same people online as we are in reality. I mean, we’re the same, but we’re not.

If I were being particularly philosophical, I would wonder which I’d rather be, but then I’d have to draw boundaries. (Are video games online/electronic reality, or reality reality? This gets especially blurry when you start to consider my recent ebay addiction.)

I used to be very into thinking about these kinds of issues. I read “life on the screen”, “Hamlet on the Holodeck” and “Interface Culture” over 3 years ago! (Which now seems like an eternity.) I actually have a smallish collection of these investigations of the “new” electronic frontier at home, but it’s been a long time since I felt they were pertinent. I guess there is another reason I don’t tend to buy them anymore as well–seems like most of the new ones are all about money and/or power. Products of the failed .com era, I guess. I don’t find them nearly as interesting, although some of the newer ones (about why it failed) are on my list… I find the personal narratives the most interesting, I think. Somewhere, under my facade of indifference, I’m a people person–an electronic-people person.

OK, I know, I know,

OK, I know, I know, I don’t watch tv or read much in the way of news, but how come I’ve never heard of Hammacher Schlemmer before? I guess maybe they’re just another specialty store, and it’s not like I’m into those…

(Do a search for bicycle, and you’ll find a bunch of jems, including a new one that turns into a unicycle!)

Tuesday. I’ve suffered the revelation

Tuesday. I’ve suffered the revelation that my life is a blur of the same old stuff. Stuff I enjoy, some of it–juggling, video games, movies–but stuff I really could care less about too–work, driving, eating, sleeping…

Some people really enjoy sleep. I find it cumbersome. I don’t like it, most of the time. It’s one of those things I have to force myself to do if I want to get enough of it, and I hate not getting enough of it probably worse than I hate doing it. They say our bodies do important things while we’re aslep, and that’s fine. I just wish I weren’t so busy that sleep felt like an intrusion.

All that having been said, I didn’t get enough last night, and I want to go back to it. ;)

This is one of those

This is one of those days where I feel like I’m walking around with blinders on. I can only see the thing immediately in front of me. I’ve never been good at multitasking, but today it’s even worse. I get sidetracked by thinking about chocolate. I get to a logical stopping point in a project, and I stop, but not for any reason, just because I’m there. It takes me a few seconds to realize, yes, I have more work to do.

My brain is frazzled and stupid. This is not that unusual.

I have huge news. Last

I have huge news. Last night I went to look at a house right off of LynLake. It was awesome, and we made a bid on it. I went to my mom’s place, to juggle with Travis & AJ, and then went home to watch The Others with Nate. By the time I got home, Nate had already heard our bid was accepted! The house looks a little something like this:

I have so much work to do it’s comming out my ears. So I’m getting back to that. blah!

I’m having “issues” with blogspot

I’m having “issues” with blogspot again. Page not found errors… And bitstream is falling apart at the seams… I have my email one minute, and the next it’s all fucked up. Fortunately, they’ve got some really talented people down there, and I’m sure they’re doing the best they can…

Today at work was this all-gage company meeting… we played “games” which were mostly trivia about the various parts of the company. It’s actually a pretty amazing thing, when you think about Gage marketing as a whole–merely in terms of the volume and sheer diversity of work that comes through this building. Unfortunately, working in one of these cubes, on my stupid little projects, doesn’t leave me feeling part of anything big or important. The opposite is more frequently the case, (if it wasn’t already obvious.) I usually feel so separate from this whole thing. I want to get out. Run. Become a hermit.

I am not a drone. I am not a drone. I am not a drone.


I’ve caught the ebay bug. It’s funny how I’ve used ebay in the past without getting addicted. I think I was always looking for something in particular, but that’s how this started too… it was just something in particular that I didn’t (strictly speaking) need, so maybe that’s the difference. Video games are plentiful in the land of online auctions, and I’ve found a few pretty good deals. My SNES/N64 game-organizer should be arriving in the mail any day now. I’m pretty excited about that one. And I bought Kirby 64 because Laura likes playing Kirby when we play Super Smash Bros.. But last night I found myself staring at the screen long after I’d already checked my current auctions, surfing for everything, anything, something–things I don’t even really want… but have maybe thought about buying in the past. I think maybe it’s got to stop… maybe.

the audition on sat. went

the audition on sat. went well. We all kinda tightened up and didn’t talk nearly as much as we should have. That’s the kind of thing only practice well alleviate, I think.

Work sucks, as usual. I’m debating the merits of working a night security shift somewhere. If I can make $15/hr, I’ll be excited about the prospect. I just don’t want to actually do anything. I’ll bring a laptop and books.

The house purchasing has to happen first, since financing depends on my job. We’ll see if I can hold out for a couple of months. We looked at about 8 houses this weekend, and weren’t really excited about any of them. Slim pickings right now, I guess.

well, I’ve been ignoring this

well, I’ve been ignoring this here blog for almost a week now. Chaos has ensued in nearly all aspects of my life. Work is… well, work. There has been quite a bit of blame-slinging lately, and I feel like I’m in preschool here.

The big news is that I’m trying to put together an “act” for the renaissance festival this summer. My brother and sister will be in it, along with good friends AJ and Travis, who I have known for awhile in a juggling context.

We’ve been getting together almost every day this week, despite (or maybe partly fostered by) the fact that I’ve been calling in sick, and sleeping till noonish every day. I really have been sick, although if I’d have known how sick–and how much work I’d miss–I probably wouldn’t have taken monday off.

Not that I’ve missed working… I wish I lived in another country, where I could work 30 hours/week. I wish that were more socially acceptable here. If I could get away with it, I’d do it at the job I’m at now. I wonder if they’d let me… they’d probably make me hourly or something.