ok, so I’ve always kinda

ok, so I’ve always kinda thought people who post their search engine results referrals are a little weird, but now I TOTALY see the attraction.

I come up first on google for the term sexsweat.

oh yeah baby. Plus, at some point I misspelled cocaine “cocane”, and if you search for “how to make crack cocane” (without the quotes) I come up first. It’s a funny misspelling, because–even though I know I’m a poor speller–I do know how to spell cocaine. I also show up when you search for “excitement machine” and strangely enough, blog + newbie does it too.

today’s link, a site full

today’s link, a site full of flash games… they’re awesome: http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/

I went to see a sneak preview of 40 days and 40 nights tonight, it’s a romantic comedy about this guy who is still in love with his x-girlfriend, and decides to go without sex for forty days and forty nights. It would have been a good date movie, but I went to see it with my roomate. At least he bought me dinner before hand. (Two-cheeseburger meal at McDonalds, with orange soda. I know you care.)

We wanted to try and remember to look up the female lead, Shannyn Sossamon, who is HOT. I wanted to know what else she’s been in, and Nate remembered a Knight’s Tale, but I thought she’d been something else. I guess not.

So, it’s movie night, cause now we’re going to watch Kiss of the Dragon.

today’s link is this amazing

today’s link is this amazing music video I stumbled into: http://www.tobyslater.com/consumption/

My roommate just tried to start his own blog, and got it all set up and stuff, then proceeded to write for twenty minutes. (or maybe more like 45) His session had expired (since when does blogger use session timeouts?) and he lost all of what he had just written. (Which was probably quite a bit after 45 minutes–and judging from his bitching afterwards.) Needless to say he was pissed. I told him how I’ve made it routine to copy text out of the main text field if I’ve worked on an email or an update for more than 20 seconds. I do this even in Eudora, but especially in any sort of webmail. When Eudora crashes on me at work it’s always frustrating as hell. (I only use it for my work mail because I can sort the emails into project folders so easily.)

I originally set down to write about how shitty I’m feeling. I just got back from reading a book to Laura, who stayed home from work today, and is misserable, and sick. I read more to her from High Fidelity. It’s not that I feel terribly sick, although I do feel as though I’m starting to get a headache, but I think just being around her–so misserable, so weak and helpless seeming–caused some sympathy gene to kick into overdrive, and I’m having sympathy headaches, and sympathy dizziness.

I got an email today from John, my younger brother, who is in the next few days going to be starting on a three month walk. He is in California right now, I’m not sure where, (I think San Fran–which I’d always thought, until looking at a map just now, to be south of LA–I am so dumb.) He’s going to walk at the very least to Portland, and if they get ambitious, to Seatle. He’s walking with three other people, and I can’t imagine it really. When I think about that kind of freedom, that kind of carelessness, I feel constrained by my job, by my debts, by my possesions… it’s a fantastic idea, really, and he’s doing it.

I finished A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius yesterday, and it was good. I felt thrown for a loop. It was as if the whole book was a discussion about the idea of self-obsession from this guy who is terribly self-obsessed, ridiculously so, and he’s not even trying to hide the fact that it’s all a joke in poor taste. Fabulous. Someday I’ll have such a great idea, and I’ll write it, and I’ll be famous. Just wait.

Matt Wilson lent me the book originally, and I meant to give it back to him today. He is in a new band with this guy he used to play with who is now in Semisonic. They’re called The Flops, and I just have to mention the site, because Matt is putting so much into it, it’s really turning out great. He’s writing all the copy, and it’s just chalk full of this crazy stuff. I hope he doesn’t get mad at me for mentioning it. I know they’re already getting signups and stuff, so it’s not like it’s some big secret. I dig the car–nuff said.

link of the day http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/britney_breasts.asp

link of the day http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/britney_breasts.asp

This last weekend was MONDO, the local juggling fest. It was probably the best mondo ever, and I learned a ton of stuff, got a new set of props (zuni’s–poi) and otherwise enjoyed the hell out of the weekend.

Last night I took a shower, and finally unlocked the last character in DW3. I was up far too late doing it, but it was great. More playing tonight, if all goes well. Laura is sick, and I want to visit her, but I already have plans for group PS2… so… I hope she doesn’t hate me for not making her ckicken noodle soup.

I got an email from a once aformentioned old friend (peter) today. He says I “LIED” before when I mentioned him. I guess it’s only been a couple of months since he wrote last, not six. Sorry peter.

Back to the grind (for a half hour) before I head off.

morning is dismal. Outside raindrops

morning is dismal. Outside raindrops on little stretchers are being carted to raindrop-morgues, dead before they hit the street. I woke up to the annoyingly perpetual dawn-hue from my window, sunlight filtered through cloud-layer after sadistic cloud-layer.

now I’m trying to psych myself up for going to work. This is much like ten minutes ago (showers are short now…) when I was trying to get myself up out of bed… thinking the door is so close, it’s not that far, and taking a shower isn’t so bad for at least five, maybe ten minutes–felt more like an eternity in that half-awake, almost-dreaming state just before the snooze kicks off, and my alarm continues its auditory barrage.

I can’t decide what kind of art car I’m going to turn my beat up old geo-prism into. I would like to do some kind of collage, but I’d have to use some kind of varnish, so the first rain wouldn’t just wash away the whole thing. I like this idea, because I could just carry around two tubs–one of adhesive, and one of varnish–and paste up anything anytime. It’d be dense, fun to look at…

I’d better get going. I need to work on finding a way not to work.

We’re living in this incredible flux.

We’re living in this incredible flux. This book I read, some really dumbass science-fiction psychology focused book–Cyteen–was constantly talking about how we live in flux. How our minds are full of contradictions, and that causes us to “flux” which really just meant let our emotions control our actions. I don’t think lack of thought automatically means we’re acting based on our emotions. I’m not even sure the book meant this. I’m getting what the book was saying and what I’m trying to say all mixed up. It’s not important about the book. It’s one of those epic things that’s far too long to forget. I wish it had been much shorter (like 400 pages shorter) and I’d have already forgotten all about it.

Anyway, I feel moody today. In flux. Maybe it’s the moon. Maybe it’s the stars. Probably it’s just my weird sleep patterns that end up getting in the way of work and my schedule for the day.

I bought the new Freddy Fresh album. It’s grand. Good-ole techno. Hard beats and catchy loops that go on for probably too long. It’s his first american release, and I’ve got one of his imports (the one with the fatboy slim remix on it) and I think this is better.

I’m gonna go take a shower, and wash away the moody sleep-eye residue. Water falls different on my head now. It doesn’t run down my hair. If there’s anything I miss about my hair, it was the way the hot water sorta soked into it slowly, moving it’s way down my back like a snake or something. Now the water is just there, instantly, and it slides off my head just as fast, heating my scalp for only so long.

I recommend everyone go from having really long hair to shaving their head once in their life. It’s like you’re a new person, only you’re still the same. And everyone comments about it, even people you don’t talk to that often. (or, as was the case yesterday, people you never talk to–a waitress at a bar I go to two or three times a month with co-workers came up to me and made some comment.)

The response to the change so far has been very positive. I don’t have any weird lumps on my head or anything. I look tougher now, I guess, and my ear-rings stick out more, which I think is good. I’ve always wanted to look more punk, without actually doing anything terribly drastic. OK, so I guess shaving my head is kinda darastic. Maybe. Really, I’m just afraid Yami is going to never speak to me now. (And, as predicted–not here–she hasn’t really been writing me since she got back to caltech. So I wouldn’t even notice a difference… not that I’m bitter. ;)

another thing that has changed

another thing that has changed is that now I have a car. It’s alex’s old car.

Laura played a dirty little trick on Jason by telling him that she had a new boyfriend (because when she got back, I was a new man, no hair, and a car!) anyway, he was amused when we showed up at his party together.

OK, it’s been eleven days.

OK, it’s been eleven days. A lot has changed. (I cut my hair.)

I don’t know what finally pushed me over the edge. Maybe if I hadn’t been working 13 or 14 hour days for the week before it wouldn’t have happened. Laura was out of town visiting her parents in Texas. Now she’s back, and things are finally settling down after a nice four day weekend. Work is far less stressful.

The site I was working on is live, and has several thousand signups already. (duh.) We just didn’t get the project until a week before it was due, so that was the issue, really. That, and poor project management. (we were still getting changes from the client even as the site went live, so development was all fucked up.)

In case I haven’t already

In case I haven’t already said this, Final Fantasy X kicks all kinds of ass. The book I’m reading is really good right now too. (yes, still the same one.)

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I was up till 4 AM playing FFX, but I feel like I’m swimming today. Everything is slow and water-like. Also, when I’m sitting still it seems like I’m still moving.

I had this image as I was walking into work of air completely surrounding me, drowning me.

Any minute now I’m leaving

Any minute now I’m leaving to drive Laura to the airport. She’s going to Texas for a week to visit her parents. I’m working on this amazingly retarded website for virgin atlantic. But it’s all about discounted fairs to london, supposedly $200! I’m tempted, actually. None of that Texas crap for me. ;)