I’ve been surfing for web

I’ve been surfing for web community links all day. I wanted to include a blog link or two, but I realized that blog communities are really weird. It seems like they’re all super specialized small intense bursts of social activity. This versus a site like Mac Fix It or something where they have hundreds upon hundreds of users that show up every day or so, log in, and help other people.

Web communities are the bomb.

I find ordinary fiction relatively

I find ordinary fiction relatively boring. That is, unless it brings something else to the table. Probably the most common “other” thing a book can bring to me is beautiful prose. Poetic prose even. The one I’m reading now does this well. It’s funny even. Funny is good too.

When I write, I should think about this issue more. Not when I write here. That’s not what I mean. This is more of a journal really. I mean when I write stories and stuff. When I write boring prose, it should be poetic. Or funny. It can be funny too.

I’d rather write science fiction.

Last friday I saw William Shatner right here in Minnesota. He was promoting the release of his movie (he directed and starred it in) called “Shoot or be shot.” I didn’t see the movie, in fact, we didn’t even know he was going to be there. It was weird. He seems nice. He’s short. I didn’t shake hands with him or anything, just watched from 10 feet for a few minutes.

it has just struck me

it has just struck me as extremely unlikely that anything as sophisticated as a CD player would ever get invented. I am amazed. Dumbstruck even. How is it possible? How is this awe possible? Am I crazy? Is it really amazing, or what?

The wonders of modern technology.

caviar on crackerjacks. I’m inflated

caviar on crackerjacks.

I’m inflated and frozen today. Work is a steaming pile of horse dongle, complete with tapeworms.

Now I will go juggle until my arms are sore and my legs numb from bending to pick up clubs. DAMNIT! I forgot a t-shirt today. I’ll be juggling bare-chested. I’m so hot.

untitled [ugh. I’m a lizard in sunlight]

ugh. I’m a lizard in sunlight
dreaming about crack cocaine and mescaline
robe hanging off my shoulder
tying knots in my brain with video games
playing chopsticks on the player piano
we’re fermented and moldy
green fuzz on my skin–alcohol content 98%
out to lunch

well, I haven’t had a

well, I haven’t had a googlewhacking post yet, mostly because I haven’t had anything really exciting to post. Now a friend of mine here at work has got 166,110,000,000 points, with the two words
u n u n h e x i u m  &  j o n e s.


It doesn’t beat out some of the best scores over at JOHO, but it’s still pretty damn good.

My personal best was
p u s s y  &  t h y r o t r o p i n
with 29,440,000,000.

It’s fun as hell, and I’m not getting any work done today. :P

I just found out a

I just found out a good friend lost his job. I keep saying I want another job. At one point I would have been happy to be fired. Now I’m not so sure. It sucks out there! I’m sure he’ll find something.

I was thinking–on the walk from my bus to work this morning–about how boring my life is… then I thought about it some more and realized that it really shouldn’t feel boring. I mean, there are so many things I do. I’m a FRIGGIN EXCITEMENT MACHINE!!!

I mean, for pete’s sake, I’ve got a girlfriend who doesn’t mind if I look for other girlfriends. I juggle two, sometimes three, times a week, I watch far too many movies, read incredibly good books, play amazing video games… I live a life of fucking leisure!

Laura says I write my blog like I’m lonely. I’m not sure why. Maybe she just means I don’t mention her enough. If any attractive females between 21 and 29 are reading this, we’re looking for potential 3-somes…

Here’s a great quote from despair.com: “Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.”

UPDATE: If your screen name is Yami, and I already know you, it doesn’t matter how old you are, get your butt to Minneapolis, and I can guarantee at least one night of hot steamy sex, quite possibly much, much more.

I just had this incredible

I just had this incredible eye-moment with a sexy-red-lipstick-wearing-girl on the bus.

I was standing in front of her about to get off the bus. She looked at me, I looked at her. We locked eyes. She licked her lips like she was going to say something. I bit my lip. The drunk in front of me stumbled getting off the bus. I grinned at her, she grinned at me. I got off the bus. I turned around, and she was still looking at me out the window of the bus. I made sure she knew I was looking at her, then I turned and walked up the street toward my appartment.

I suppose at this point I thought I was waiting for her to make some move–get off the bus behind me or something. I fantasized about the evening we’d have, getting to know one another… drinking heavily, smearing her gorgeous red lipstick.

Of course I’d already blown it. The moment was gone.

As I walked into my appartment, I fantasized about taking my flatmate’s car and chasing down the bus to ask her out. Then I laughed at myself.

This kind of thing happens frequently enough that I’m always thinking about it… On the bus in the morning I’ll fantasize about moments like this with every girl my momentary glance around the bus deems worthy of fantasizing about. In fact, as I got on the bus today, I began to fantasize about this kind of thing happening with this very girl, and I stopped myself, read my book instead. I never do anything when stuff like this happens. I’m totally and completely incapable of actually saying anything to a stranger.

I should have asked her out for a drink. I should have said “Hello,” or “Goodnight,” or “Hi, what’s your name?” or ANYTHING. I’m a moron.

Not that I’m saying I really need to meet someone or anything. I’m just a moron.

Crazy factor #3: I like

Crazy factor #3: I like to bite butts. I don’t know why. I really like sinking my teeth into a good ass. It’s one of life’s little pleasures.