Archive for May, 2003

vicodin and the vixen

My emotional/mental/physical status has been in roller coaster mode for what feels like weeks now. Fortunately, the sexual relationship turmoil issue has been completely taken care of. Laura and I are doing better than ever. She was extremely good to me after I had my wisdom teeth removed. (Hello Nurse!)

Mentally, mostly due (I think) to the drugs from my oral surgery, IÂ’ve been feeling not so fresh. My brain is like a pop-tart, hot and gooey inside, but all the sugar coating on the outside. I donÂ’t even know what thatÂ’s supposed to mean!

Physically, IÂ’m a wreck. One minute IÂ’m fine, then the next IÂ’m near tears until the ibuprofen kicks in. (I even resorted to the prescribed vicodin last night, which I hadnÂ’t thought I was going to do. I blame the donuts I really should NOT have thought I was well enough to chewÂ… but damnit, they were krispy kremes!)

The aforementioned vixen and I hung out last wednesday. She will probably be reading this soon. (Hello Vixen!) Things were great, the event was quite stimulating, but not in a physical way. The jury is still out on that one. We have been writing longish emails professing our love for one another. (Without ever actually using the word love, or any of its synonyms. Or even professing anything, really.)

[note of clarification: This is not to say I am in love with the vixen, or that the vixin is in love with me. Love is a sticky subject and was only used in this context for comedic impact.]

viva las vegas!

The last thing I remember was the doctor/dentist/surgeon telling me that I was going to be outnumbered in the room three-to-one, and that in a minute, I would know that they were winning. This was as he stuck the needle in my arm. I remember counting the syringes… there were at least three.

After that, I woke up in a room I hadn’t ever been in before. Except that I was far too gone to realize this until Laura described the room to me much later. The experience was probably akin to being abducted by aliens, except that they were all twenty-something female hotties, with the exception of the male doctor, who looked more like Ron Jeremy.

Speaking of porn, the first words out of my mouth to laura were “I want to have an orgy with all the nurses.” Actually this was after I apparently said “orgy” a couple of times until she could make it out. That’s actually the first thing I remember, but everything from then until about 12:30 or 1 this afternoon is like a movie in fast motion. I have a couple of snapshot moments before we got home, like telling Laura I should do more drugs, because I liked the way I felt, and then in the car wanting to go to funcoland. Then one more in the car saying I was glad we didn’t got to funcoland because I was staring to feel nauseous.

I have no memory of getting inside and getting into bed. I also don’t remember the first couple of times Laura put the ice packs on my cheeks.

For some reason, my lowwer right “hole” hurts more than all the other holes combined. (That’s also the tooth that hurt last weekend so badly that it prompted this whole endeavor.) So far I haven’t resorted to the perscription painkillers. A couple of ibuprofin has been enough. (Oh, and having sex with ice packs strapped to my head helped with some of the pain too.)

Next on the agenda, I’m going to tackle this fruit smoothie laura picked up at the wedge for me, and then maybe I’ll stumble downstairs to see about playing some mindless tetris. It’s already 4:30 in the afternoon, but it feels like maybe noon. Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess.

[ps, I was going to title this entry “viva wisdomlessness”, but then I thought maybe I’d see how to translate wisdom into spanish, but sabiduria just doesn’t have the same ring to it. (and it’d have to be non sabiduria anyway.) But then on a whim I translated las vegas, and I was astounded how well that fit the subject at hand.]

top 100 sci-fi video games

Basically, the list is completely subjective and very rough draft. (I had about 60 at my initial posting.) The ratings are all based on my opinion, and some of them are not even all that informed, (as I frequently never finished playing the game in question). I know I am missing plenty, so help me out.

In some cases, mostly toward the top of the list, I’ve tried to rate games better based on plot and sci-fi content, but gameplay was always the foremost consideration. If a game isn’t fun to play, it shouldn’t really have appeared on this list at all.

There are so many games with sequels that in many cases I’ve combined the games into one listing. In some cases, a later version of the game is substantially better, and if that was the case I did try to split the games into two listings for the sake of their ratings.

Some games made the list that are probably only implied science fiction. The Myth series, for example. Usually this is because they are just too cool to leave out.

[Click “MORE…” to see the whole list.]
Continue reading ‘top 100 sci-fi video games’

Big Bugs

ants in single file bending green blades
our bocce balls careening off of hills
sandy cities situated among dandelion landscapes
earthquake obliterated, front yard infested

our eyes are antennae, hands mandibles,
brains compound eyes — thinking five times
for every thought required

a big ball hits the fence, scares the squirrel
gutteral, he takes to tree

best sci-fi movies

So recently my friend Dr. Bombay posted a list of 100 best sci-fi films as decided by the Online Film Critics Society. It�s not a bad list, I mean, there are some great films on there. But there are also some notable absences, in my opinion. I started thinking about this when I realized that City of Lost Children makes the cut, while Jean-Pierre Jeunet�s earlier and more coherent masterpiece, Delicatessen, is nowhere to be found.

Ok, so that one can be explained away. It�s a relatively unknown french movie, and the english overdub version is known to be horrible. Not everybody likes subtitles. But far more disturbing in its absence is one of my favorite movies of all time, The Dark Crystal. That kind of negligence is criminal!

Also notably missing are humorous sci-fi movies. Toward the top of my list would be the parody Spaceballs. (Along with another great parody, Galaxy Quest.) Not to mention Mars Attacks!, which is hilarious and great.

I would like to have seen a list of all the submissions. I can think of a ton of other films that would maybe (probably) have made my cut, above some of the crap that was included in their list. (The x-men movie, Cocoon, Explorers, Final Fantasy, Ladyhawk, Legend, lawnmower man and David Lynch�s Dune, to name a few.)

Alright, so I haven�t thought much about the possibility that they were going for all sci-fi, and no fantasy. That would scratch the dark crystal, Ladyhawk and Legend off my list, I guess. But they include some that I would consider fantasy as well — Highlander (albeit low on the list), King Kong (which Nate pointed out was about as sci-fi as Jaws), Jacob’s Ladder, Pi and Donnie Darko. None of these movies were particularly sci-fi, for crying out loud!

My personal least favorite on the list is The Cell, although I know many people liked the movie, The Cell was barely sci-fi in my opinion. And while it was pretty to look at, the pathetic plot and poor acting would put the movie itself high on my list of worst movies of all time, lack of sci-fi not withstanding! I suppose it was technically more sci-fi than fantasy, however.

The list included Starman, (a shitty movie), but not The Last Starfighter! (Laura and Nate would also add Flight of the Navigator.)

More understandably, (especially if you were taking �how sci-fi were they� into account,) they included Superman, but not Batman (or Spider Man).

If we are including fantasy, a few more I would add to the list are Labyrinth, Willow, The Princess Bride, The NeverEnding Story, LOTR, and Harry Potter.

I am seriously thinking about making my own list. Almost as hard as putting them in order will be thinking of all of them. I wonder if that was the OFCS�s real problem. (I could make a separate list of top fantasy movies.)

Nate and I have been talking for a good hour now about what makes a movie sci-fi. I personally would rate movies that show the science above movies that are just conceptually sci-fi. Unfortunately, this leaves a lot of the older sci-fi classics right out of the picture, and also my original beef with the list, Delicatessen.

Anyway, this is a huge issue that I could probably think about until the end of the world.

peep peep goes the easter bunny!

OK, so here’s a story I haven’t told yet. My desk is the color of sunflowers, cans of lemon-scented-anything, non-gender-specific baby showers, and the sun. Yes, it’s yellow. But why is it yellow?! Because it’s covered in boxes of peeps!

You know what I’m talking about, I’ve posted about them before.

It’s no secret that I love these little marshmallow babies, but this was all made possible by someone I don’t even know (and his kids)!

I guess this guy at work won a year’s supply of peeps. You can see his kid’s winning easter basket submission here.

When he brought a box of 5 peeps for everyone in the building, I guess he had a lot left over, and since everyone knew I liked them, I got about 20 boxes on my desk before I got in that morning.

This was about a week ago, and my cube is still peepsville, Peep City, peep central.

Normally I would eat about a box a day, but for the past week (mostly due to this toothache) I haven’t eaten hardly any at all. Just now I ate about three of these succulent sugar-chicks, and suddenly I feel dizzy. Light headed even. I’m about to leave for the day, so lets hope I can make it home in one peep… I mean piece.

such a thing as too much wisdom

Well, I heard back from the vixen. No dice on the date night. Clark is right, it may be impossible to convince anyone to be part of my dating schemes. (See yesterday’s comments for a gargantuan exposition on non-monogamy.)

I feel really rejected. She was so clearly interested! She claims that she doesn’t feel “led on” or anything, she’s just not interested in being second, which is of course not the way I put things — but I can hardly argue the point.

Damn.

While pondering a subject line for this entry, it occurs to me that I could have saved telling her till after the date. I mean, did I do the right thing? If I’d been right there when she found out, would it have been better or worse? She made it clear that this was a tough decision for her to make… I still haven’t responded, and I’m liable to make a fool of myself trying to convince her there’s no harm in trying… Moot point now, but I think everything is probably better this way. No big surprises.

And now I have an appointment on Tuesday to have all my wisdom removed! How will I pick up chicks then!?!

oh it’s bad…

my tooth hurts. I need to make an appointment with the dentist. That’s bad.

But worse, is the situation I’m in with a girl I met last Saturday night. I just sent an email revealing to this sexy young beast that I am not quite entirely “read-the-fine-print” single. She was definitely interested. Now we find out a bit more about her morals and/or ethics.

Is this possibly blossoming relationship poorly timed? Perhaps, but fortunately, things with Laura are (for now at least) very good. She knows of said vixen.

Now I wait, my gut like a 3 ton cement truck, for the vixen’s response.

(In other news, there are now quite a few pictures of Zelda over on thorsday.)

the network is down!

This afternoon I wrote an essay (for the blog) that was about a page long. Definitely the longest bit I’ve written in quite a while. Then, most of the way through it, our network died. I will post it tomorrow. It was all about sex, and if there’s anything this blog needs, it’s more sex.

BTW, we got a second kitty tonight. Her name is Zelda, and she was born on Valentine’s day.

update on that alarm clock thing

…turns out it’s just the track number being displayed. Not the number of times I’d hit snooze after all. I’m pretty sure I must have been waking up just about once a song though, because it really seemed like that’s what was happening.