Sick and Feverish

I think I’m being punished. My whole body shakes, and I go through hot and cold phases about every ten minutes.

I’m warning you now; you do not want to read the rest of this. Graphic depictions of gastric illness follow:

You’ve heard the phrase “Everybody thinks their shit don’t stink.” Well, it’s not true. The smell of my shit is making me nauseous, and I smell it about twice an hour, as my asshole pees liquid shit into the toilet. I haven’t had a solid bowel movement for two days.

This whole illness seems to have its center in my stomach. It’s hurt now for about 24 hours. But it was only last night that I started to feel like puking. It hasn’t happened yet, but I feel that it is somehow inevitable.

My asshole is chapped. That’s fucking right, chapped. I wipe it as tenderly as I can, and even that is too much. Also, my hands are dry and cracking from washing them so often.

To make things worse, I can’t seem to actually pee either. I think the piss is all getting diverted to my intestines or something, and all that comes out is a little dribble.

I think maybe this is some kind of karmic punishment for posting that whole entry on watching myself poop a while back And no, I haven’t watched myself liquid-shit. It hurts too much to lean forward, and besides, I’m wisely not at work right now.

Yesterday was worse than today, especially last night, before I could fall asleep. I lay in bed thinking about whether I was dying.

2 Replies to “Sick and Feverish”

  1. wow, while bored at work today, I was wondering the same thing: if this is karma coming back at you from that post…

    You know what you are describing is very similar to an illness I got when I was a counselor at a camp in the Poconos several years ago. I think I’m stopping by the herbal store tomorrow and picking up that slippery elm bark and you can’t tell me you don’t need it this time. The only thing that will stop me is a very solid poop.

    hope you better soon sweetie!

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