Notes after watching Confessions of a Dangerous Mind:
Nietzsche said: “The man who despises himself still respects himself as he who despises.” I am a man who respects himself for not saying the things he wants to say but can’t. Or perhaps I despise the things I want to say, and therefore just don’t say them.
This movie twisted all my thoughts up around inside themselves, and I loved it.
Simultaneously I feel more alone than ever. Mary Anne Evans said: “What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” How lonely was she, pretending to be George Elliot so she could publish as a man?
How lonely am I, typing to my friends, through this void, into nothing; not even talking with them; not even talking?
UPDATE: Here is another quote on loneliness: “Man’s loneliness is but his fear of life.” (Eugene O’Neill) This one gives me some small courage.