Things are still fucked up

Things are still fucked up here at work, and there is no development environment. I don’t want to work on a live site, at least not without some kind of safeguard… I really should be doing the work I have to do offline, and then just upload, but DNS is hosed on that particular site anyway, so they won’t even know things are fixed. (and I have to do _every_ page, so it’s going to be tedious to say the least–maybe I’m just procrastinating.)

I’ve stumbled onto some really not-so-interesting blogs today. I also discovered The Sex Project which I may contribute to… but nobody really wants to see erotic male photos… (except other guys, but that’s another story.) I’m not sure what the the reason for this is, I mean, it’s a gross generalization, but I think there is some truth to the idea that men are far more visually stimulated or stimulatable than women are.

I think maybe I’ll add links to other blogs on my site… I haven’t consciously decided not to do so, I’m just not sure what the best method would be. This whole blogspot thing leaves me feeling a bit too not-in-control.. if that makes any sense. I think it’s the templating system that’s offputting, and I wonder how the templates work for Movable Type.

If I have learned anything

If I have learned anything in this universe (in the last 24 hours), I have learned these things:

• It’s good to understand how your php script works before you complain about weird “caching” issues and/or go about fucking things up in said script.
• Other people write better poems than you. (whoever you are)
• Business is business–that means it will always be run by stupid people.
• Some tricks are really really hard. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to learn them anyway, and in fact, makes it more fun to sort of half-learn them, because you can celebrate “almost-getting-it” that many more times.
• Old friends may call at any moment.
• If a game is released on a particular day, and you call a store that is open 24 hours at 11:45pm the night before, that game is not guaranteed to be in stock at that particular store until 10am. Especially if the store is Wal-Mart, and the game is Bomberman Generations, for the Gamecube.

Sometimes, I think unix is

Sometimes, I think unix is like magic. Playing with configuration files and .rc files has to be one of the most fun things I’ve done at my job. It’s especially fun to “source” your .tcshrc file and watch the magical changes happen! I’m sure this kind of thing would get old if it were something I had to do more than even once a week, but for now, I’m content changing my prompt on occasion… just for kicks!

This is similar to the way I feel about programming in general. I’d like to do more of it. I probably wouldn’t even mind being assigned more of it, but right now–because I do it so little–I’m like a kid in a candy store playing with php…that is, until the big awful server caches your script in some naughty bad way, and you can’t see your changes. Then I get frustrated, and want to kick the server. But my terminal doesn’t allow for physical bludgeoning, so I take a deep breath… and wait. Maybe the comments will look better… someday.

My archives are totally fucked

My archives are totally fucked up, and I have no idea what’s happening. I think it really is time to start using movable type or something. This is rediculous. Every time I go to the “archive template” area on blogger, I get a “page cannot be displayed” error.

I don’t know what it is about monday mornings, possibly just that I never get enough sleep, but damn I’m tired, and I haven’t been able to focus on much of anything yet. Plus, it’s fucking cold outside (and rainy, which normally I would enjoy) and inside, where you would expect the temperature to at least reflect some amount of warmth, the AC is on! Are we fucking popsicles that we need refrigeration?

I feel like crying myself to sleep.

If you check this site,

If you check this site, and all the images are gone, you can blame my ISP, whose services have gone steadily downhill since the split.

Yesterday I had this completely

Yesterday I had this completely impromptu blog-writer-get-together. Of course, I didn’t even think of it that way until we started talking about blogs… I was just getting together to hang out with meghan, and she had apparently talked with mopsa earlier in the day about going to this (turned out to be fairly awful) variety show at the BLB. (Incidentally, I happen to know the person who designed and built the current BLB website, and wouldn’t it be funny if mopsa and/or any other readers also knew that person!)

Anyway, we skipped out on the show after the second bad poet, and ended up (after briefly loosing each other) at pizza luce. (whose site I won’t link, because it sucks ass). The topic of blogs only came up briefly, and mostly in the middle of one of mopsa’s many anecdotes, but when it did, it felt rather odd to be actually talking about something that had, until that moment, been purely electronic. Behind the screens, so to speak.

I have talked a bit with Laura about my blog, but other than that, any times I’ve mentioned it I’m usually giving someone the URL. I have been, once or twice, surprised by someone mentioning something they read on the blog, but otherwise, blogging and reality have scarcely met at all. Blog, meet reality. Reality, meet blog.

I’ve had this experience before–in reverse–when I first got into webpages and stuff, I met this girl who lived in Iowa. We met at a con. She and I ended up having a (mostly) electronic relationship, but have met (with mixed results) in reality a few times since. Every time it’s that same weird disconnect. We’re not the same people online as we are in reality. I mean, we’re the same, but we’re not.

If I were being particularly philosophical, I would wonder which I’d rather be, but then I’d have to draw boundaries. (Are video games online/electronic reality, or reality reality? This gets especially blurry when you start to consider my recent ebay addiction.)

I used to be very into thinking about these kinds of issues. I read “life on the screen”, “Hamlet on the Holodeck” and “Interface Culture” over 3 years ago! (Which now seems like an eternity.) I actually have a smallish collection of these investigations of the “new” electronic frontier at home, but it’s been a long time since I felt they were pertinent. I guess there is another reason I don’t tend to buy them anymore as well–seems like most of the new ones are all about money and/or power. Products of the failed .com era, I guess. I don’t find them nearly as interesting, although some of the newer ones (about why it failed) are on my list… I find the personal narratives the most interesting, I think. Somewhere, under my facade of indifference, I’m a people person–an electronic-people person.

OK, I know, I know,

OK, I know, I know, I don’t watch tv or read much in the way of news, but how come I’ve never heard of Hammacher Schlemmer before? I guess maybe they’re just another specialty store, and it’s not like I’m into those…

(Do a search for bicycle, and you’ll find a bunch of jems, including a new one that turns into a unicycle!)

Tuesday. I’ve suffered the revelation

Tuesday. I’ve suffered the revelation that my life is a blur of the same old stuff. Stuff I enjoy, some of it–juggling, video games, movies–but stuff I really could care less about too–work, driving, eating, sleeping…

Some people really enjoy sleep. I find it cumbersome. I don’t like it, most of the time. It’s one of those things I have to force myself to do if I want to get enough of it, and I hate not getting enough of it probably worse than I hate doing it. They say our bodies do important things while we’re aslep, and that’s fine. I just wish I weren’t so busy that sleep felt like an intrusion.

All that having been said, I didn’t get enough last night, and I want to go back to it. ;)