I thought I’d make this post on SEX and OPEN RELATIONSHIPS all the more tantalizing by hiding it behind this alluring “more” link. If you’re sexually squeamish, or hardcore religious, don’t click it.
So laura and I recently revisited the idea that we should have an “open relationship/sex blog” The only thing is that we don’t want to necessarily do it on either of our domains. We think we should come up with something more appropriate… and maybe more anonymous. Anyway, this post would go there, if we’d already set it up. Since we haven’t, it’ll go here.
I think Laura is going through what I went through about four or five months ago–a basic longing for a “new” romance or fling. Back when I was going through it, we talked some about the issue of whether dating other people meant really DATING them, (ie, long term). It was a moot point, as all the people I ended up seeing are really not interested in that anyway. (I know, it makes me sad too.) It is still premature to be talking about it with laura too, although at least she’s gotten together with the same guy a few times now. (Although last I heard, he hadn’t called/written her back, and she was upset about it. Funny quote from my friend Kate a couple nights back: “I’ve decided boys who don’t know how to use the phone don’t get sex.”)
Anyway, last night, in bed, Laura brought up her desire to date other people, and I was like, “cool.” Then she brought up the fact that she’d lost interest about halfway through sex, and I was like “that sucks.”
I hope I was much more articulate at the time.
But just now I was thinking back, and when I was going through that “phase” (for lack of a better term), I too was a bit disinterested if I remember right. It wasn’t that I didn’t want laura, it was just that I spent a lot of time thinking about the “other” prospect(s). And that was exactly what laura was describing last night in bed. She was even thinking about one of them while we were… <whisper>you know</whisper>, which I donÂ’t really mind. It’s almost fun to think about, actually. I wonder what he would think, knowing that laura was thinking about him while we fucked. On the other hand, I hope those thoughts didn’t lead to her loosing steam halfway through, because I would have hoped it’d have the opposite effect.
Now I’m trying to decide whether it’s a good thing that our “phases” happened at different times. On one hand, it would have been nice for her to know what I was going through when I was going through it, but on the other hand, it would really have sucked for us both to be disinterested, because it’s possible we could have mistaken something like that for a real threat to the relationship.
Obviously, I’m hoping this isn’t a real threat to our relationship. It definitely wasn’t when I went through it. And from the discussion we had last night, I don’t think it is now either. But of course, everyone is different, and nothing is certain.